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Far more sensible than what I had previously thought.But the bottom line was. This was not what I remembered. None of thattimeline.All I remembered was my fictitious world.Where I had been Alex Turner for the first 30 years of my life, thenAlex Moore for the last one. If these were false memories, where weremy real ones?Would more medication and therapy eventually unveil them?Or would that treatment in fact, implant them?Was it possible, even remotely, that Dr Black was the malevolent beingI believed him to be, and this was his latest trickery?Or was my thought disorder just making me hang on to that.I had no proof of anything, and he had an answer for everything.Did I actually possess the knowledge of a trainee psychiatrist; or acritical care trained nurse for that matter? Or did I just think I did?I couldn't be sure. I felt I knew things that a patient, no matter howassimilated they were, couldn't possibly know. But I now doubtedeverything.I needed time to decide. To search for. "How long have you been free?" Since, lemme think now, since eighteen and forty-fi', no suh, January forty-six it was, long time now." He shook his head, seemingly surprised by that fact. "'Fore that I was in some, what they call broad marriages, but since I got my 'mission paper, since I been free, I'se only had two wifes. Fust one died of a fever, poor thing, rest in peace." He got his big push broom and set to his morning chores while Robert ran up the stairs and finished dressing, barely remembering to kiss his wife before he went down to work, tugging his galluses up on his shoulders and fumbling with the garters on his sleeves, his shoes laces flapping.Caroline stood by the wash stand in her shift and smiled at his back, very pleased about being a married woman and no longer a maiden. I'll have to remind him to shave, she thought, touching the box that held the two razors Robert's mother had given him, English razors that had been his late father's. Childhood is done with, she.
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